This week's episode of The Hills begins over at Heidi and Lauren's, where Heidi just so matter-of-factly lets it be known to Lauren that Spencer asked her to move in with him. Lauren, having found out days ago, tells Heidi that she already heard the thrilling news through her true friend Lo. Heidi's face drops as she hears this and Lauren also does the perfect job of acting like she couldn't give a shit about Spencer asking Heidi to shack up with him. Lauren then calls Heidi out oh-so-delicately, telling her that since something like that is supposed to be a big deal, she was surprised she told Lo before her. Heidi then totally lies and gives Lauren some shoddy excuse like, "oh well, I just found out." Little does she know, Heidi also shared the news with blond girl at Bolthouse, the bathroom attendant at Area, her waxer AND the butcher over at Whole Foods. Heidi then says how sweet she thinks it is that Spencer wants them to live together, and Lauren kills Heidi's buzz right away by saying, "to be honest, it kind of freaks me out." Lauren is sure to add that if she was dating a guy and he asked her to move in with him after only a few months, she'd be like,"WOAHHHH, WHOAHHH, SLOW DOWWWN." She then makes sure to hold up both of her hands in a "back the hell up!" gesture for stronger emphasis while she says this. Heidi is thoroughly disappointed at Lauren's ability to crush her dreams and normally, I would feel bad for Heidi, but since I hate Spencer so much, she's shit out of luck. When Lauren asks her if she wants to move with Spencer, Heidi first humms and haaas and then tells Lauren she told Spencer she wasn't going to do it and that she is really happy she decided to stay there with Lauren. Again, Heidi's dreams are crushed when Lauren, instead of being all shits and giggles because Heidi chose to live with her instead of Spencer, says the last thing she wants for her 21st birthday is to spend it dealing with a new roommate. She then twists the knife in Heidi's back even more by comparing losing her as a roommate to losing a good pair of jeans. Sorry Heidi, but Lauren was right when she said, "a good pair of jeans, you hang on to them, no matter what."
Over at Audrina's, Heidi stops by to talk about the surprise party they are having for Lauren's 21st birthday. The two girls hatch this sinister plan to make Lauren think Heidi is flaking on a special birthday dinner that was supposed to be a strictly "Lauren and Heidi night." Okay, considering how fragile things are between those two and the venom that might spit out of Lauren's mouth once she believes Heidi is giving her the bump for a bigger name with a penis again, I don't know if this is the best idea. Audrina on the other hand, is probably secretly thrilled at the prospect of looking like the good guy in Lauren's eyes once again. Tee Hee! So the plans stands that Heidi will flake on Lauren for the birthday dinner, Lauren will of course call her second choice side kick Audrina and Audrina will get Lauren to go out, leading her to the secret surprise birthday destination at Hyde. Poor Audrina, after standing by Lauren while Heidi was caught up in Spencerville, she still comes in second fiddle.